Burn The Fat 2011 Summer Blog Contest

My limiting belief is that I’m not worthy enough for success; I won’t ever be good enough, and someone will have a problem with my success and tear me down when I start to show signs of being successful, so why bother setting myself up to be torn down and deal with the resulting pain? Plus, I have major doubts about my abilities to be really successful any more in my life.
Wow, I never realized this in this way. The first part started from a young age, back in grade school. I was able to keep it from limiting me in most ways while I was still in school, except my weight. The pain was apparent through my struggles with weight. The latter was always a part of me throughout my life, the insidious voice of doubt anytime I did anything less than perfect, but really reared its head after working for a horrible boss, on top of that job taking away from opportunities to be true to myself outside of work because of the demands it put on me.
So how am I not going to let this stop me? That’s an even harder question because I’ve let it do that all my life so far, and I’ve used food to cope. I have always told myself that I’m not motivated enough because I can’t overcome these issues to be successful, and therefore tear myself down as a result, doing what other people used to do before they can do it to me now.
I know I’m supposed to say, But I deserve success! But that wouldn’t be truthful to how I feel.
However, I do know that for reasons I’ll never be able to fathom, I have a Savior who found me worthy enough to save, and I need to, as a result of his love and not because I need to do it to be loved and to receive the gift from him, live my life the best that I can so that I can use the unique abilities he’s given me. I was made this way–with these abilities and these crosses to bear–for reasons I likely won’t fully understand in this lifetime. But I’m not honoring Him or myself or those in my world by being less than I was made to be, and my fat and my lack of true energy isn’t helping any of us, much less helping me make the world a better place or serve my family.
I’m not going to let these things stop me any more. I wasn’t made fat and unhealthy and lacking energy to be limiting my abilities. I was made to use my uniqueness to make the world a better place, and to show how my Savior’s love is for everyone, INCLUDING me!
This is probably a much longer answer than you were looking for, Tom, and some may mock my faith, but I do know that it is by His grace that I am still walking this earth, because without that grace, I would have ended my life along time ago. But that means I’m still here for a reason, and the best way to live the rest of my life is in the best shape I can be!

FEAR, of the unknown, of success. And convincing myself that I deserve better. Lots of voices from the past in my head telling me I am fat and lazy and selfish. If I can unlearn those voices I can maybe concentrate on me without guilt.

In the past, I believed that not exercising and poor eating habits were my main obstables preventing me from getting the body I wanted.
Now, I realize that it’s not only diet and exercise that was holding me back; it is not having the right frame of mind that is really my obstacle. It’s me not believing in myself that I have what it takes. And “it” is just a matter of purging out all the negative thoughts, bad experiences, and self sabatogating habits I’ve accumulated over the years. Once I do this, there’s no stopping me.
All I have to do is start with a goal, stay focused, work hard at it, and stay patient by taking one day at a time and I will see the finish line!

I’m the queen of self-sabotage!
I always believed that I dont eat that much, that I train hard therefore I don’t have to watch what I eat, to my very core I’ve allowed myself to believe this, even now that I’ve finally changed my dietary habbits, (to eating 5 small meals a day, all whole real foods) I’ll lie to myself and say “oh I’ve been good, this extra bit of sauce or piece of meat or chocolate or beer wont make a difference” in one word, BULLSHIT. It’s these little lies I keep telling myself that are precisely the reason why I’m NOT getting that svelt lean body that I damn well deserve!
I must stop lying to myself. I’ve allowed food to dictate my life and I’m *beeping* over it.
Not only and I going to trash that belief! I’m going to take on a new one, that I love eating clean and I always stick to my meal plan!
I am going to enter this competition and im going to come out a winner because i am finally going to achieve the body of my dreams!!
Thanks for the support and wealth of info Tom, you the man :)

I have always, to a certain degree, watched what I eat and I have been somewhat active throughout my life. I am 65.5 and weighted 125 when I graduated from college 4.5 years ago. I was always considered skinny by family and friends. Therefore, I always wanted to gain weight, but I wont about it the wrong way. Although I attneded a gym, I was not doing any cardio at all and I eat as much as my stomach can hold and whenever like a pig. One year ago, I realized how fat I have become. From 125 lb to 185lb. That was too much weight on a short and small fram. So I started on my journey to lose weight but I have never been able to go below 165. One reason is the family and envirnment I live in. College and work are also another reasons since they do not leave me with much time to cook my meals or excercise regularly. However, I started begining March of this year to excercise regulary lifting weight and doing some cardio. I also have been careful with what I eat. Although my diet is not perfect, I am doing better than before. My weight has not changed but I notice more muscle on my body and less fat in my midsection than before. Hopfully, I will use this transformation contest to add as much as 4 pounds of muscle to my fram and strip as much as 14 pounds of fat. This is not my ultimate goal, but this is my short term goal for now. This should bring me to 155 at 10% body fat.

What has been stopping me is the actuality of getting to the finish line and not being able to sustain the body once i get it. When the weight comes off I listen to what others say and to not myself. Plus another huge thing for me is that i honestly do not see what others see in the mirror. I am too hard on myself and on my body. These things have been holding me back (for years) because i listen to everyone and dont trust in the system and in the plan that it is working. Slow and staedy wins every race and i just have to keep it real! I never want to go back because i hate to be in a constent compitition with myself. I want to figure out the real way to sustain the eating habits, and sustain the body… and move on with my life. Life is too short and i have wasted too much time in my short 31 years worrying about it … I want to finally move on.

I could give a whole bunch of reasons as to why I didnt lose the fat before I discovered BTFFTM, too busy, too lazy, bad back, big boned, diets are too strict, etc, etc, but if i’m completely honest all of that was just excuses.
I honestly think that being fat was my protection. Nobody expects much from a fat person. It gave me an excuse not to make the effort, or try to make my life better. If you get rejected for promotions or by partners you can just say people are shallow or judgmental or its all about looks. I also think that I used to feel that looking good and fit and healthy meant that people would only look at the surface and not see how smart or capable I can be. Or maybe that was just another excuse that I used to not do anything about how i’ve abused my body over the years.
As for why that won’t stop me…. Well i’ve been through one hell of a journey over the last year, and finding BTFFTM has been just one stop on a road of self discovery. I realised that beating myself up for not being perfect is just as negative as being overfat in the first place. I realised that it doesnt really matter what the world thinks of me so long as I can look in the mirror and love the person looking back at me. I realised that my body can do amazing things so long as my mind lets it. And perhaps the most important one is that I realised that I dont need that protective fat suit any more. I dont have to prove anything to anyone and I can simply be who I choose to be, and I choose to be fit, healthy and positive. I’m already on my way.
See you in Maui Tom ;)

First of all, I would like to apologize myself for the grammatical mistakes or the miuses I may do. I’m not a native english speaker.
So, here we go.. what has stopped me until now? i’ve grown up only with my mum because my “dad” wanted to have a boy. i kept in my mind the feeling that i was the reason of their wedding failure. So, i’ve tried to.. make my best to “disappear” and to be the kindest, sweetest child i could. i thought i decided that i just have the right to be as bright as possible or happy in my life. I’ve chosen to have good grades. Now, i’m almost 30, i’m lived europe since 3 yeard, i’m about to end with a PhD, i’m afraid of having a social life and being attractive. In fact, I can’t understand why people come and talk with me. My relatives and supposed friends were such a negative support and they explained me that i will never deserve something good.
The truth is.. i’m a people pleaser and i’ve lost my mind and my self esteem to please everybody around me. i’ve forgotten my right to be healthy. i’ve given up my ability to consider myself as a real girl and not only as a smart mind. i’ve been so far away into a negative mood that it’s the best moment in my ectic, roller coaster life to take a positive, inspiring and amazing new beginning.
Finally, i won’t stop my journey because i know i have the rights tools, what to change, what I need to change my body composition. Most of all, i’ve failed to many times, I deserve to succeed and live the best life. I wish to all the contestants my warm wishes to acheive goals and dreams.

A L C O H O L
Unlike many of your great comments, I was the skinny little kid. Graduated high school at 5’6″ and 90 pounds. Started partying like a rock star in college and gained weight in leaps and bounds. At the start of this year I was 278 and drinking nearly 3.5 liters of rum a week. I used to call myself a functioning alcoholic. Looking back, nothing was further from the truth. I quit drinking. By far the biggest thing I had to do to get the body I want. I am now in my second 90 days of P90X and doing doubles to try to get rid of my belly fat. Down to 235 and lost more than 14% body fat. I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN! My family deserves a better husband and father and with your help Tom, I will be the fun Dad that can do anything and everything athletic with my kids. I will monitor everything that passes my lips and make every rep count! I will do this for ME! I DESERVE to be healthy! I have EARNED my workout time! I AM going to MAUI! Nobody can STOP me! Good luck to everyone else…but I AM WINNING THIS!

One of the things that has been holding me back is embarrassment from not doing the ‘normal’ thing and having other people pity me for eating six meals a day or a chicken salad over a burger.
This will never stop me again because I realize that it isn’t embarrassing. What is embarrassing is being overweight, and being in good shape means a lot more to me than any embarrassment over people judging me because I am trying to change myself.

What has been holding me back? Self-sabotage, I think. I like to work out at the gym and I like to eat. Mostly I eat healthy, whole foods–lots of veggies, balanced with lean protein and whole grains. But, I can’t seem to go more than a few days without adding sweets, or empty calories to my “healthy diet.” I saw big results changing my eating habits after first reading BTFFTM. But over time, I’ve been following the plan at 95%–telling myself that an occasional cheat wont hurt. But guess what!? 95% has kept me from reaching my goals.
It feels like such a psychological battle between the “good me” and the “naughty me”, and I wish it didn’t have to be so hard. (especially since I like to work out and eat healthy foods!) So, I think it is my brain that is holding me back. My attitude and thoughts. I’m going to re-read my issue of burn the fat (it has been a while) and this time, try engaging in the support system that Tom has created on line. And I am going to stop kidding myself that a “mostly healthy diet” is good enough.

What’s REALLY been stopping me? What has me say again and again I want to be ripped, but never reaching that final stage. It’s fear. The fear that lurks inside my soul and fills my heart with doubt; the ‘maybe there’s something wrong with me’.
It’s a multilayered fear.
It’s the fear of reaching my goal – and having a ‘then what’? settle in and fill me with grief; or worse, not maintaining, slipping up, and feeling incapable of maintaining my discipline.
It’s the fear of departing from my comfort zone. The fear of departing from my ‘self’, my ‘ego’. Night eating (no longer what I classify a problem) but an ongoing comfort habit and symptom of my self-punishment/ self-indulgence/ self-guilt and unsettling state.
The fear of living this life of numbers, and not knowing how to be, simply, normal; a certain self-remedy initiates from being able to analyze, again and again, plan, and re-plan, and just see how to get things right ‘this time around’. I know how to listen to my body, but the question is why am I not?
What’s going to make this time different? Why is it gonna be different this time around? Why isn’t this fear gonna stop me?
Because I am going to work on me – from the inside out.
It is the self that I need to depart from. The selfishness that resides within; I am a person of character, holding true to my heart the basis of discipline and integrity. But it is the ‘personality’ that resonates unkindly; the personality of an extremist. This time around, I know that the truth of my discipline resides in mental training, the physical and nutritional realm have long been conquered. I am going to focus again on the basics, and live by the principles that helped me once before, and will help me again, but this time around to reunite to the simplicity of being me.
“Every slip, every fall, every return to selfishness is a lesson learned, an experience gained, from which a golden grain of wisdom is extracted helping the striver toward the accomplishment of his lofty object”. James Allen

What’s stopping me? What’s stopping me?…….ME! My excuses. My lack of commitment to myself. My inability to say “No” to other people. The fact that I always put other’s need ahead of my own – mainly those needs of my husband and children. My belief (even though it’s wrong) that being shellfish is a bad thing – even when it comes to my own health and happiness.
My husband used to body build and was a personal trainer when we met. After we were married I packed on 20lbs and after the kids were born I noticed that I had somehow gained an additional 20lbs. So, I asked my husband if he could train me and he agreed – the only caveat was that I would have to get my butt out of bed at 5:30am so he could train me and still have the ability to get his own work out in. To which I happily agreed. This lasted a week until one of the kids got sick and I was up all night with a sick child which left me with NO energy to be working out at 5:30am. Our workouts never got back on track and I think I resent my husband for 1. Not getting up with kids when they’re sick and 2. Not pushing me harder to get out of bed in the morning. But, truth be told, I need to stop making my husband responsible for my training. I need to stop blaming getting married (10 years ago) and having kids (6 & 5 years ago) as the reason for my getting fat. Those are really old excuses and they’re not working for me anymore so I need to let that go.
I know that getting into the best shape of my life will make me a better wife and mom. It will give me the energy I need to keep up with my kids. I might actually get into a bathing suit and take them swimming or to the beach this summer without worrying about getting harpooned.
I might actually let my picture be taken with my kids. We took the kids to Disneyland for the first time a few weeks ago and every night when we were back at the hotel room, putting the kids to bed, I would secretly go through the pictures on the camera and delete every single one that had me in it. How sad is that?
A trip that should have had every moment captured on camera so that my kids (and I) had the ability to reminiss at some point down the road – all because I don’t like the way I look, I deleted half of them, thereby effectively, erasing half of their memories.
If, for no other reason – THAT is why I am doing this. THAT is why I need to do this. THAT is why I am going to succeed.

I have been holding myself back from being the best and looking the best i can simply out of FEAR! I know i have what it takes to do this and if i worked as hard as i should i could win this thing! Simply put, i love to eat food. I am 3 months post-partum and am having to make that mental shift that i had while pregnant, that i could eat what i wanted, which i did. I am scared of doing great and then eating everything in site. If i could be more positive, believe in myself and not let food or lazyness hold me back i could be GREAT! I am GREAT!

What holds me back is a lack of discipline. Last year I dropped 19 pounds and about 4% bodyfat… after I cleared the ‘hump’ of changing my diet. Not dieting, but changing my diet.
Less bad stuff, more good stuff. Not none of anything. I still have a soda now and then, but I treat it like a candy instead of a beverage, or go for the Zero flavor instead of the sugar variety. that’s just one example.
So I’ve gotten lazy since thanksgiving, and have only a couple months before beach season. I’d like to have two years in a row where I can take my shirt off at the pool… time to buckle down! I want to look good, not “good for a 35 year old” and THAT is why I will suceed!

What has stopped me in the past is that I was essentially lazy and lacked the motivation to get off the couch, or get out of bed earlier to work out. Cardio is tiring. Lifting weights is hard work, and it is just easier to take the day, week, month, season, year off.
Being lazy no longer stops me because I know that laziness was killing me from the inside, and I love life and want to have the energy to enjoy it.

I was afraid of injury and not being able to finish what I start.

What has always stopped me in the past was my desire to be considered important. When I was single and living on my own I was so motivated, I dropped 20 lbs on weight watchers and looked fantastic. Then I moved in with roommates and we used to have fantastic dinner parties. I told myself that I couldn’t possibly eat healthy as I wouldn’t be part of the group anymore. And Of course I couldn’t take time to work out because I would miss our after work beers on the patio, or the movie with a friend, or coffee date, it goes on and on. I was more concerned with being a social butterfly than with my health. Slowly (of course) the weight came back.I tricked myself into believing I didn’t have much of a problem. Sure – I don’t like the way my clothes hang on me, and I feel guilty after a night out but I only need to lose 20 lbs. no problem, right?
Well, then I had kids. Now, all of a sudden, the only people I want to be popular with is my family. I stepped on my new body monitoring scale and yep – that 20 lbs is still there (in fact it is creeping close to 25) but more importantly I am a skinny fat person! My body fat % is close to 40%. I can’t believe it.
Now I have a plan. This plan incorporates good food, healthy eating, the occassional beer (or wine as I now prefer lol) and more importantly – exercise. I take the time to exercise and I AM going to succeed. I don’t care what my weight end up being. FOr the first time in my life I can say that. I care about that %. I was to see it go down. I AM going to be below 25%!
I plan to enjoy a long, healthy life with my family.

My limitting belief is that my hormones are what stops me. My testosterone is low, my growth hormone is low, so I can’t lose weight like other people, I can’t gain muscle like other people, I don’t have the energy to workout like other people. These beliefs combine to leave me thinking that no matter how hard I try, how stringently I watch my diet, how regularly I work out, I won’t get the results I want (or that other people get – maybe that bugs me more – I think for what I am doing I am not getting equal results to other people – hmmm )

My limiting belief is that it will never happen for me. I have been overweight (morbidly obese) since I was 12. When I hit my 30s, I had the lap band put in and lost over 75 pounds BUT I still have never been thin. Now, the lap band is making it almost impossible for me to lose any more weight, but since I am not “normal” yet they will not take it out. When I step on the doctor’s body fat scale, it says that I am over 40% fat! But, I excercise a lot so I know that can’t be true!
As for how to change this: I may be getting my band out even though I am technically “fat” due to acid/slippage – I do think that will help (hopefully).

Laziness and complacency.
I am a stay at home mom to three young children. I sort of accepted the fact that I will never “be toned” because I have been through three pregnancies where I gained (and lost) 50 pounds each time. I have been able to lose scale weight easily, I have always been on the upper end of the normal weight range for my height but never been happy with how my body looks under the clothes. I was falling into depression, and could not figure out why, I live a fairly easy life, we are blessed with 3 healthy children and my husband makes enough money for me to stay home with them (which was always my dream) Two months after baby number 3 came I was satisfied with how I had managed to lose the weight yet again. However I still hated my body, but was too lazy and satisfied with where I was to do anything about it.
Once my last baby turned 1, I started wanting another one, because I felt like something was missing. I didnt know what was missing, but after a few months of being miserable that I couldnt have another baby, I started drinking wine everyday and eating really badly. I put on 15 pounds in a few months, I was feeling worse, and more depressed and I could not understand why since I was living the life I had always wanted. Finally, at my heaviest and the most un-attractive I think I have ever been I decided I was going to make some changes. I started eating better, less calories, not as much wine, and light excercise.
After one week I felt a lot better. I could not believe the difference one week of eating well and excercising made for me. Since February 2011 I have lost 27 scale pounds, 5 inches from my waist, and I am now seeing muscles I never knew I had! I have been researching clean eating and am now eating as clean as possible, with only a few exceptions. The weight I have lost is nothing compared to what I have gained! I have more confidence in myself and my abilities than I ever have, I play with my kids instead of sitting back with my wine watching them play, I feel like a better person, I am now truly happy and I have a new outlook. I am not on a diet, I always correct friends/family who ask about my diet. Eating properly and excercising is not a diet, it is a part of my life that helps me better enjoy all the blessings I have been given! I KNOW that I can tone up areas that I thought could not be toned, I see muscle definition all over my body and I love it! I want more of it, and no number on the scale makes me feel as good as finding new muscles, or taking my measurements and seeing the inches melting away! It has only been three months since I hit my breaking point and decided to take control of my body and I can not wait to see how it looks in 3 more months! I found your website and am very interested in your burn the fat feed the muscle methods!!

The path of least resistance has always been my problem. It was always easy to get started and stick with an eating program and workout schedule. It would not take long however for the part of me that prefers easy to hard, rest to work, cookies to carrots, to decide that it is WAY easier to do nothing.
Why it won’t stop me again? Five back surgeries and two replaced discs. My nine year old daughter feeling bad about her body. I am a terrible role model. I finally realized the path of least resistance is not as easy as it appears. I know that you have to work hard for what you care about. (my daughter, my back)
I care about doing better, I care about being in great shape. Finally, I am emotionally invested in my own path to a better life. That seems to make all the difference in the world.

The reason is simple. it falls in one question how bad do you want it?. Nothing can stop any human being of achieving what he wants other than him self.
I found a quote some where on the web which I added on my positive notes including some of the favorites in BFFM which keep me going back every time I stop.
WEAK DESIRES BRINGS WEAK RESULTS.
And this is what stopped me from achieving a WEAK DESIRE.

My limiting belief is that there is such a thing as “good enough”, and that I don’t have to work my hardest if I’ve achieved an semi-acceptable result. In my heart of hearts, I know this is full of, well, the stuff I scoop out of the cat box.
I can trace this back to my childhood, where I spent considerable time trying to be average and to “fit in”. I was one of those child prodigies that everyone hates, but instead of letting my light shine, I chose to dim it down. As a result, I am in the middle of reinventing myself. I have lost around 60 pounds and have another 30 to go, and have waffled (Mmmmmmm, waffles!) about whether I should settle for being comfortably zaftig, since I am gray-haired, middle-aged, etc. It’s safe, it’s comfy, and I look okay. But life begins outside the comfort zone.
So I am ready to commit to the final push in earning the body I deserve.
It won’t be easy, but if I am wimpy enough to settle for mediocrity, then an energized “me” can whup that attitude in a nanosecond!

Whats stopping me? Its not even my love for food or soft sheets. Its an addiction to serving my lazy body, not making it serve me!
That all goes into laziness in food preparation, emotional overeating whenever I “feel” like it and exercising or not depending on my mood.
Talk about a silly way to live. Over the last year I’ve been making small changes. This summer I really hope to learn to buffet my body and make it my slave so that I can accomplish my dreams and goals.

My biggest limiting belief and road block to achieving my ideal healthy body composition is the thought that I’m not worthy of it. I have had low self esteem and disordered body image for as long I can remember. I was very overweight, and into the obese weight category and body fat % for almost my entire life. I lost 70 pounds in 2009 by taking up jogging (very slowly but surely!) and eating healthy food. I have been struggling with maintaining the weight loss since, and I am currently on a backsliding pattern of not exercising as consistently and eating larger portions than my body needs (emotional eating has always been a problem for me).
In the back of my mind I always, always have that negative self talk going. Telling me that this weight loss is a fluke and I’m not meant to be a healthy weight, so why bother working at it? It’s very difficult for me to stand up for myself and to believe in myself and my past accomplishments. In order to be successful in losing fat and building muscle, I need to visualize my goals clearly and believe in them. I need to tell my subconscious that I am worth the effort it takes to increase my fitness and to maintain healthy body composition.

My past belief: That I cannot finish anything. That I am a good starter and a bad finisher. I believed, deep down (and maybe still do) that I would never really get to my goal, because I always quit. The last time I entered, I almost made it to the finish line. ALMOST. Then a small set back with the struggles of daily living and I gave up on my dreams and goals. I was so very close. And I quit – again.
Actually quitting wasn’t my mistake. It was failing to start again.
It shouldn’t have stopped me, but I let it. I was tired and It was easier to quit. It was too hard to do everything: work, family, working out.
But it wasn’t really any easier. Because all I have been doing for months is kick myself for having given up again. Instead of celebrating my successes and hard work over the holidays, I let a few hard days at the job and finances get me down. I can’t even recall what the problem were anymore. Because, like all problems, they passed. If I had just held on a little longer I would have made it through and completed the challenge.
This will never stop me again. I will not listen to the negative self-talk. I will practice my daily affirmations because the are POWER. I will practice them until I can recite them by heart. I will recite them until they are the only voice in my head. I will work the program fully. I will have my nutrition, my workout, and my mind focused on the goal. Only silver lining thoughts from now on. I may finish on my hands and knees this time but I will finish.
And my commitment to my health will not end on day 96. I will continue to make strides daily. Even if my achievements are small, I will recognize that a week of small victories is the victory. A big victory when things are easy is not very impressive. It is making a leap forward when things are hardest, THAT is the real victory.

Fear. Fear of success. Fear of failure, fear someone might look at me or might not look at me. Fear I might get too big and so on ando so on. I’ve live with negative voices in head most of my life, telling I can’t do something or I not good enough or not pretty enough. The voices are just lack of confidence and self destructive behavior, logic tells me. But man when that little voice is telling you how big your butt is, or no way you can lift that or what the heck to do think your doing entering that contest. I’d like to say I’ll never listen to those voices again, but that takes a lot of work which I’m more than willing to put in and have been for many a year. Thanks to Tom and his books I’ve learned much and hope to continue to learn and with those tools, the voices instead of shouting will becomes whispers.

I was too laizy or too tired, but must change the habits.

My excuse has been contentment with good enough and fear of the unknown. I’ve been athlete all my life and just finished up my collegiate career. I’ve started to slide as my level of activity dipped and my eating habits ballooned. I’m an emotional eater, but that never started affecting me because I would always “burn off” the excess because I was working out so much. Now that I’m not an athlete, I’ve added 15 lbs and it’s been a huge struggle. My excuses for now have been that my body still looks good compared to almost everyone else, so why bother putting in the effort to change. But just because my body looks good comparatively does not mean that I’m satisfied with how it looks. I want to have a better body, and it shouldn’t matter what it looks like compared to others. The second, is that I’m afraid that by really going after this, that I’m going to turn into fitness “Nazi” and that I won’t be allowed to have any “fun” because I can’t eat or drink anything not on my diet plan. But it was that “fun” mentality that got me into this state to begin with. I can still have lots of fun doing things that aren’t food related. Instead of celebrating with cake, celebrate with a massage or going out to a movie. No more excuses!

One limiting belief has been that I keep looking at food and alcohol as a way to express my freedom and/or reward myself. For example, I’ll go on a long hike or a long bike ride and celebrate with a beer or two which then loosens the inhibitions and too often leads to poor food choices. And then the rationalizing kicks in. Well, I just burned xxx calories, so I can eat this hamburger, or this pizza, or this popcorn, or whatever. And a little bit of food or drink reward wouldn’t be the end of the world. The danger comes when I get p.o.’ed and frustrated that I didn’t lose what I think I should lose for the week. And then the slippery slope of emotional eating begins. But food and drink don’t heal the psyche, and poor choices certainly don’t lead to fat loss. Instead of looking at an episode like this as a temporary setback, I’ve frequently viewed them as deal breakers and thrown in the towel.
I resolve to no longer see food and alcohol as rewards. If I do choose to have a glass of beer or wine, I will own that decision and limit the amount. I will stop using alcohol intake as an excuse to make poor food choices. I will recruit my family and friends to support me in making good choices. I will burn the fat and shape the future. I will make choices that support the me that I want to be, rather than settling for second best. I will stop tearing myself down.

My limiting belief is the way I was raised.. My parents always said “people like you don’t do things like that”.. Anthing relating to fitness and wellness was actively discouraged.. I’ve come a long way, but it seems when it comes right down to it, I often seem to victimize myself and go back to those excuses I was brought up with. I know I CAN do this! I’m a mom with 3 kids now.. I NEED to do this, not just for me, but for my kids. I never want my daughter to go through these struggles. I want my kids to grow up only knowing a fit and healthy lifestyle!

I am a single parent with a full time job that is far from family oriented. So lack of time was one of my reasons. There was also the guilt of wanting to take what ever spare time I had and go to the gym rather then spend it with my son. I guess I also figured, whats the point I would never
have that perfect body anyway so why bother becouse if I did lose weight it would just find it’s way back with some extra tagging along. I look at it now and believe that I repeated to myself whats the point enough that I truly believed it. I became my own worst enemy! Then I turned 40 in March at the same time my little man had to go away for school leaving me alone Mon thru Fri. I looked in the mirror at myself and said “you are too young to give up and you have no more excuses about time!” I started to recondition myself to think rather than whats the point to you can do this,you need to do this,you can look amazing! I still have moments of guilt for wanting to focus on myself for the first time in 14yrs rather than everything revolving around my son and work. But then I say you have to do this, you deserve it. I know that it will be a slow process but God how I can’t waite to see the end result!!!

What held me back in the past is procrastination and settling. I realized that I’ve settled for a lot in my life and it was never anything I really wanted. I wasn’t happy being the size I was but I settled, I didn’t like the career that I had, but it paid the bills so I settled.
And the procrastination, I’ll exercise tomorrow, I’ll will eat better tomorrow. Okay I’ll have just one more slice of pizza after this 4th piece (did I really need it?)
My epiphany came on my birthday last year. I couldn’t fit my clothes, I didn’t have a job, I was depressed and feeling sorry for myself, trying to make other people feel sad for me. My mother and father both had operations and depended completely on me to take care of them. My sister couldn’t help there was only me. I helped every way I could and all they did was say thank you. What did I do? Made someone else feel better and I felt better. If I’m depressed and not healthy how can I help someone? You can’t.
So I joined a gym, started working out with a trainer and lost 13lbs. I went to a body building competitions and saw women older than me with these amazing bodies, standing at their fist competition!!! That was all it took. I no longer wanted to look like I lost weight, I want people to see the muscles, I want to wear the bikini for the first time, I want to transform myself that people I’ve known for years walk past me because they didn’t know who I was.
I work hard, I care, I’m the single mother of three and I want them to be just as proud of me as I am of them and I deserve the best!!! God brought me this far, and he didn’t do it to leave me.

What has stopped me or at least hindered me in the past? Consistancy. Plain and simple. I have not been consistent and there is no one to blame but myself. I have seen what I could do and the changes I have made in dealing with my weight. I have gone from 253 lbs down to 184 lbs but it took me from 2001 till now to do it. The bulk of it was between February 2010 and May 2011 going from 217 lbs to 184 lbs.
I can give all the same excuses that everyone else has but in the end it is just between you and your will to move forward no matter what. Now, why will this never stop me again? I got a glimpse of the future me and it is stunning! By the time I am 60 (in two years) it will be my new 30! My permanent weight will be 165 lbs and holding, standing at 5’11” I will make all the young men wonder what it is they might be missing by not courting an “older woman”! It’s no longer a need to be met, but a deep desire to fulfill my future self in the most healthiest way!

What has stopped me in the past has always been my belief that I couldn’t look good no matter how hard I tried. Back in 2003 I got involved with drugs and was hooked for 2 yrs. During that time I did lose alot of wieght (almost 100 lbs.) Since that time, I have put all that back on, plus had a second child (I had 1 already), and gotten married. I can’t say that I was depressed, not medically anyways, but I was at the point of not wanting to look the way I looked anymore. In March of this year, at 262 lbs., I did find something that motivated me to start living a healthier life. I have combined that with counting my calories, with a fair bit of success, and a lot of walking. The walking is usually on the treadmill but now that it is nicer it is easier to get outside and do it although the pace is not as fast. I don’t know how to keep track of my calories burned that way but do know when I walk on the treadmill. I am not a weight trainer and do not go to the gym, but I am actually really enjoying what I am doing now and am still excited almost 3 mths. later. What will NOT stop me anymore is the fact that I don’t want to look this way again. I no longer care about negative comments from other people and care how I feel inside. I want to look and feel better for me FIRST. I have lost almost 20 lbs just with the walks and counting. I am by no means close to being “DONE”, almost another 100 to go, but I am determined to do what I can for my health and to look better than I have EVER looked in my life.
Your ezine does help keep me inspired as well and I look forward to reading more. Thank you Tom, your interview with Tom Nicoli came to me at the right time to keep me inspired and I am hopefully inspiring a friend of mine who is in a bit deeper water than I myself am in. I am taking this slow and steady and am liking the results that I can already see…. and feel. :)

ok, a lot of things hold me back. 1) my social life stinks when I am dieting. my friends are relentless about going out and having cocktails 2) I have a sedentary job and I feel tired and lazy all the time 3) I really like to eat 4) sometimes I feel cheated…like why can’t I eat that? Why does everyone else get to eat that? 5) sometimes I just don’t know where to start 6) I hate working out alone and I can’t convince anyone else to join me :( I’m a train wreck!

What has really been stopping me is me. I have overcome many obstacles in my life intellectually. I graduated top 4 in my law school class while working and with a three year old child. I passed the California bar exam the first time… to name a few accomplishments… Yet.. I scan rooms of women and allow them to make me feel like I am less than them because I do not have a great body to show off. So…why do I continue this pattern of behavior? Simple: Fear. Fear I will be losing the one constant in my life, self loathing. Me and self loathing have become pals. We hang out and make up excuses as to why we dont go out to the salsa clubs or take risks…and the excuses are all…weight. If I let go of my buddy, I may have to face other factors holding me back and I wont have that pal to use any more.
If I succeed I would not allow that best friend back in my life, self loathing, SL for short, because I will have found a new friend…self respect. SR for short. I will never be a twenty something Coopertone bikini model. All I can be is the best me. And until I break up with Self Loathing… I cannot be that best me at 45.

My weight problems are mental. I’m a poster child for the “The 7 Biggest Weight Relapse Mistakes” blog posts the other day. For me loosing weight and getting in shape is relatively easy, I’ve lost as much as 80 lbs in a diet/exercise program several times and definitely wasn’t skinny fat. I know what to do and can really focus on loosing weight with the right mind set. But then once the goal is reached I find it hard to maintain over years. My biggest problems:
Relapse mistake #5: Dichotomous thinking.
Relapse Mistake #7: Poor coping and stress management skills.
I’d also add trying to jump back into the workout program I could do when I was in good shape, then stressing my back (old injury), and not being able to workout for a while.
For the last 5 months my daughter has been in the NICU (newborn intensive care) and lack of time and stress has caused me to put on 40 lbs. Basically I don’t have the time to do the workout I think I should so I don’t (#5) and then I’m all stressed about that and my daughter so I eat things I know I shouldn’t (#7).
I know the problem, just need to exercise the willpower to change. Right now that seems like more energy than I have (yes, I’m being self limiting).

Pure laziness & thinking its too hard.

I’ve been overweight since I can remember. I have been dieting since my teens. I lost around 8kgs in my early twenties via Jenny Craig but it went back on very soon after plus a bit more for added measure. When I was 35 and after two kids, I decided that enough was enough and that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life being overweight. I joined Weight Watchers and lost 13kg and was the lightest I’ve ever been at 53kg (155cm). That was 10 years ago. I have kept the weight off mostly. At times, I can add around 3kg (the most was 7kg last year)but then I snap out of it and get back on track. My problem is that I am now a “skinny fat” person. My weight is within the recommended BMI but I am mostly fat and flabby with very little lean body mass. When I lost the weight 10 years ago, I did it with no exercise at all! I did it through diet only and I can tell you I was very flabby with excess skin afterwards – my breasts were like deflated stretched balloons!!!
In January this year, I joined a women’s only gym and as I was not working, I was attending classes 5 mornings a week after dropping the kids off at school. When I went back to work in April, I can only go to the gym in the evenings 3 times a week getting home around 8pm. Although 5 times would be better, I am reluctant because I do want to spend two evenings at home with my family. This time, I aim to gain lean body mass. I want to lose 5kg first so am doing a mix of cardio and pump each session (around 1.5hours). During the week, I am so committed and focussed with both exercise and nutrition but I find myself reverting to bad habits on the weekend. It was really strange last weekend as I could actually “see” myself, like an out-of-body experience, eating without any restraint and although I was conscious of what I was doing, I was unable to stop myself – it was like a train crash! Tom, I didn’t have one cheat meal, I had a whole cheat weekend!! You have no idea how angry I was with myself come Monday morning. I keep asking myself WHY? WHY DO I DO THIS? WHY AM I SABOTAGING MYSELF? So your question has come at a time when I am asking myself the same question.
The thing is I am not sure why at all. I think I may be afraid of going where I’ve never been before. Everytime I stretch myself outside my comfort zone, I seem to retreat back into it (even if its only during the weekend). I have a real Dr Jekyll / Mr Hyde thing going on. Sometimes I really do forget about my aim of BFFM. The thing is I have really pushed myself in the gym recently and I have realised that I actually can do some pretty cool stuff and I won’t die from exercising, in fact I feel almost invincible afterwards. So it seems I’m doing the two steps forward one step back dance routine. Now how do I stop sabotaging myself and get moving forward at a steady pace? I need to think positive and squash the monkey on my back when she’s trying to sabotage me. I need to prioritise and plan my meals and exercise time and also spend some time thinking / affirming what I’ve achieved and where I still want to be. I think that sometimes I think too much and I should just get on with it rather than thinking of reasons why I can’t. I need to get in the right “head space” of cold steel determination! I need to be a woman on a mission – nothing and no-one (esp me) can get in my way! I can do it – I will do it – I am doing it!

Question: What have you believed in the past… up until now… that you thought was stopping you from having the body you always wanted?
Answer: I was afraid to succeed. I discovered this while talking to a friend about fitness. She explained that she thought I feared succeeding. She explained what she meant and I thought about it for a long time. At first I thought the notion of a fearing success was absurd; after thinking about it for a long time I believe that she was correct.
To succeed in my quest to get strong and lean my entire world would change. All my routines would change, my hobbies would change, my friends would change, etc.
The needs/wants of others always outweighed my own needs/wants so it was easy to sabotage my own progress…someone needed me and they always came first.
Now, I need me to succeed.

There are so many reasons why I have not achieved the body of my dreams. I’ve been fighting the pounds since birth, I think. I would do well for a while, then slip and gain it back. Luckily this time, I didn’t gain it all back, but I’ve lost my motivation. I think I don’t believe that I can really achieve my dream body. I have convinced myself that I will never be “skinny” or fit or muscular. I will always have a stomach, jiggly arms, and fat thighs. It’s genetics and heredity. I’m big boned. I wish more than anything I could get these detrimental thoughts and negative images of myself out of my head and just push through to my goal.
I was watching the Terminator 2 this weekend. Linda Hamilton doing the pull-ups has always motivated me. That’s what I want to be able to do. I think I can do it. Achieve it. I just have to stop whining and get motivated.
Part of the problem is time, but everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. I just have to be more creative in how I use my time to fit in my workouts. I’m scared to pledge to myself that this summer will be different because what if I fail AGAIN! But maybe this is what I have to do in order to get off my butt and work out! I can dedicate at least 45 minutes a day to exercise.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit”
This saying by the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle says it all for me. Although I wouldn’t be considered overweight, the tail-end of an eating disorder still snaps at my heels and I still make poor eating choices. Entrenched bad habits are so hard to break but I know I have the drive and determination to achieve the healthiest body and sense of well being that I possibly can. I have been loosely applying the BFFM principles to my life over the past 6 months or so, and have found that they really work!!So I figure that if i give 100%, then a truly wonderful sense of peace and well-being awaits me…and I’m sure a holiday in Maui can only enhance this!
I love structure and the BFFM approach gives me enough of a sense of control that I can truly form the habit of excellence to transform my body and life. Thanks Tom.

What has stopped me in the past is trading the satisfaction of reaching a long term goal for the short-term “reward” of _______ (fill in the blank – just a “little” ice cream, one more glass of wine, relaxing after a long day instead of working out…). I will NOT let this stop me again because I know that those things I’ve listed are not “rewards.” The real reward – and the reward that will last a lifetime – is achieving the healthy, fit body I deserve.

Many books have been written, awesome quotes published, or should I say re-published since I have found there are not that many “new” ideas that are not a bunch of hype. Like Jim Rohn learned from his mentor Earl Schoaff, and Rohn mentions in a few of his books including ‘Seven strategies for wealth and happiness”, there are about 5 words. “Fundamentals” is definately one of them. There are no such things as “new” fundamentals. Also, one of the greatest things I had to re-learn is ‘half a dozen things.” There are usually about a half a dozen things *basics*, fundamentals* that make up 80% or more of how things turn out. I actually, had to go back and re-read some of my business and success books after reading a few pages and seeing Tom Venuto quote some of my favorite people like Jim rohn, Chris Aceto, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Og Mandino, and so on. Tom, I must say, you have very good taste in who and what you study. All I can say is most of all these things I now realize have been around thousands of years… from biblical times as they are in the bible in one for or another. Just like “as a man thinketh in his heart… so he is” Wow, I cant believe how far off subject I got, but that point leads to on of the biggest barriers Ive had, that i would face, but WILL overcome. A major one is having to take medication for certain personal issues that make it hard to gain muscle, but make fat gain crazy fast. It was really depressing because I would eat better than most, work out harder and smarter than most, and the results were very very very slow and very disapointing. so, I would stop taking those medications and I would not even have the energy to get out of bed and eat, let alone get to the gym. But as I just wrote, “as a man thinks in his heart, so he is” I refuse to see myself as defeated. The power of believing in yourself, “the magic of thinking big” hint, and a consuming, burning desire with clear, vivid goals, helps to overcome the setbacks. It boils down to the power of your goals, how bad do you really really, really, want something? There are no excuses any longer, I have burned the bridge behind me, and have actually made some decent improvemtns in the last 2 months. too bad I didnt just now start the transformation contest and just start with a whole new outlook on what needs to be done. I’m simply not taking “no” as an answer. i know what I want. Ive made myself want it more than any obstacle I can possible have imagined, and will do whatever it takes to get to where I want to be.
If you think you can, you will.
If you think you cant, you wont,
If you like to win, but think you cant
its almost certain you wont.
if you think your outclassed you are,
youve got to think high to rise,
youve got to be sure of your self
before you can ever win the prize.
life’s battles dont always go,
to the stronger or faster man,
but soon or late, the man who wins,
is the man who thinks he can….
Napolean Hill “think and grow rich” (I did not put it in parenthesis as, I quoted it from memory and am not certain I wrote it identical…. but I think you get the point.
I love your motto, and that is exactly what i am doing and will continue to do. “train hard… and EXPECT success!”
The power of positive thinking and expectation is a powerful universal law that attracts success and positive things, rather than push them away.
good luck everybody! Remember, the only thing that you CANT DO…. is the THING you dont think you can do and are afraid to try

I always seem to get in the way of my own success. I know exactly what I need to do to accomplish my fitness goals, yet I constantly derail my own train. I can’t even really pinpoint the real reason that it happens… is it laziness? Is it fear? Is it just an inability to be disciplined? “There’s always tomorrow” I tell myself. But no, not really, there’s only today! I am determined to stop putting my goal date farther and farther out. I am tired of living with regret for what I haven’t accomplished. It’s time to kick my own ass and get it done already! I would really like to enter the body transformation challenge. There is something about competition that seems to spark a fire in me. Best of luck to all the contestants!

Inconsistent training and calorie counting and/or just falling of my own wagon for a while…. My body has a set point, not a bad one by all means, but a point where it lingers or returns to when I fall off the calorie watch and strict exercise schedule. While it is not an unhealthy set point, it is not the athletic and lean and uber-healthy point I want to maintain. The bump in the road I guess is self-sabotage created, ultimately, by belief in lies (“oh, this little extra won’t hurt; I can afford to skip this day; I just really need some beer and chocolate and while we’re at it some french lathered in ketchup”) and losing touch with the actual truth about how much food I am consuming. I maintain regular exercise and health-conscious eating habits, MOSTLY, but ALWAYS is REALLY what it takes. Even maintenance requires a watchful and honest eye! I also don’t push my strength training hard enough at times. I would truly enjoy a serious training partner.
Another serious problem I have is giving up before the magic starts to happen. I get disillusioned pretty quickly when I don’t see the results I want. I am 32 years young and have a chronic case of “lack-o-patience-itis” ;) I’m going to plaster my walls with affirmative phrases and motivational pictures!

I feel what is holding me back is my lack of discipline in my eating habits. I workout 5 times a week (weights then 25 min cardio) on non weight days I do cardio for 45-60 min. I take 2 rest days even if I feel like I shouldn’t. I have been lifing weights on and off for over 15yrs. I don’t see results so I stop going to gym for a few months at a time. Then I start all over again. I get discouraged.
I have made some changes in the past few months. No candy at all. I limit the sweets but I still have them. I want to make the right changes once and for all to see the results I am after.

I’ve been thinking about this question for the last 2 years!! What holds me back? Really, it’s me. Why? Fear?
– It’s not the answer, but the journey to finding the truth that’s more important.
I think the answer used to be loneliness – I always separate myself from the pack and then have to back up because there’s been no one there to share or to compete or push or to support. But now I’ve found a pack that runs with me, that let’s me lead, that pulls me forward when I fall behind.
So now that I know that, the real question I have to ask myself is: What happens when I succeed? I’d rather find out by succeeding rather than speculate and getting caught up in the guess-work which would likely lead to fear and self-doubt.
I have my daily, weekly, monthly, halfway point, and completion goals written out and taped everywhere. Supports are in place.
Here I go –

I’ve been so afraid of my life changing, because I think it can only get worse from here, not better. I’ve been through so much physically and mentally in the last 10 years, and now I’m married to someone wonderful and supportive and have a great support group of family and friends around me. What could be better? I really can’t imagine it. People are already telling me I don’t need to lose more weight, even though I tell them I have 30 or more lbs. of fat to burn. I’m afraid to change because I don’t like people judging me, even if it’s positive or negative. I just don’t like the extra attention. This goes back to my childhood – I always thought I was fat. My mom had weight issues and a gastric bypass and I think that caused me to have body image issues at a very young age. I suppose I still have those issues. But it is nonsense! What I want is to feel amazing and not be self-conscious in a bathing suit. I want to be in amazing shape and have THAT become the norm. I don’t think I’ll be judged much if being in shape becomes the norm! It will just be who I am. Healthy, strong, and amazing. And no matter the circumstances, I’ll have great mental and physical health to better manage everything in life.

What has always been stopping me is my mind. I’ve had a lot of family problems and personal ones so in the end I saw food as the only outlet. Just imagine how pathetic it is when you consider food as the best thing in your life and it’s just so difficult to give up the one thing that you THINK is making you feel better. Then after eating only because I didn’t know what else to do, I felt even worse. The worse I felt, the more I ate. I was getting more and more depressed because of my physical appearance and as a result, guess what, I ate.
The first thing on everyone’s mind when they see me is “a fat girl” – that’s what I thought. I’ve never judged other people that way but from my point of view, that was all anyone could see in me: a fat girl and nothing more. It’s been such an obstacle for me in every way, especially when it came to social life. I didn’t want to go out of my house except when absolutely necessary. Day after day I grew more depressed and nothing held much meaning anymore. No one wanted to take the situation I was in seriously, no one understood how bad I felt. And again, I ate.
It was such a vicious circle I couldn’t get out of.
However, after finding out about BFFM I’ve started to feel better. Reading burnthefat blog is giving me so much hope (thank you, Tom); that feeling is so hard to explain. I’m finally seeing everything from a different perspective. I’ll do all it takes to get myself in shape and lead a healthier lifestyle. I believe I’m here for something more than just wasting my whole life sitting in my room. I want to be in control of my life (and eating as a matter of fact) again and, for a change, I feel like I’m really able to do it.

I’m familiar with limitations, roadblocks, physical shortcomings, etc. Whatever you want to call them, I’ve had my share…degenerative joint disease, thoracic outlet syndrome which caused a major blood clot, rib removal surgery, shoulder surgery, and a major back strain–and all of this in the past two years.
During that time I’ve entered three on-line body transformation challenges…the last two were Tom Venuto’s BTF challenges. I’ve finished in the top 10 female category and most inspirational category. My point is, that unless you are living a charmed life, there will always be challenges to overcome…whether they are mental, physical, or hectic schedules.
I believe overcoming our challenges and personal demons is a lifelong process. It’s what makes us better, stronger and more confident in the long run. Personally, my physical issues are a constant challenge; but I look forward to these contests. This is when I re-group, re-access, and get back on track.
At the moment, I’m going through some nasty withdrawal symptoms from going cold turkey off my prescribed hot flash meds (venlafaxine). Sorry guys…I know most of you cringe when you hear the words “hot flash”, but for some of us tortured souls let me just say ‘they really suck’. It’s like burning up from the inside out–like you might spontaneously combust at any minute. Sometimes I think my husband might come home to find a pile of ashes in my computer chair. lol.
I could kick myself for not doing more research on this drug BEFORE I started taking it a year ago, but I was desperate and hormone replacement therapy was out of the question with my blood clot episode. So I buried my head in the sand, took the pills with relief from hot flashes for about a year.
Then my doctor or insurance company denied my prescription and now I’m dealing with almost constant hot flashes and really nasty withdrawal symptoms that might last for months according to on-line sources. Okay, so lesson learned!
Now it’s time to jump in to the summer challenge and give it all I’ve got. I may feel like crap every day right now, but working out and eating healthier can only help my situation. Time to stare down the demons and take control once again.

At age 43 and now 270lbs, I have often pondered what is stopping me from having a body that makes me happy and feel great? I couldn’t seem to find a single, main reason. Overall, I’m healthy (no serious injuries), lack of motivation, lack of true desire, too busy, enjoy sweets, enjoy food in general (not strict with my diet); maybe I just never visualized my goal….and so on, but lately my weight/body definition has been getting to me; aches and pains, lack of energy and can’t do the things I used to…. NOW IT’s TIME TOO WAKE UP!
Conrad K.

My limited belief is I don’t care what I look like cus that takes effort and I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I have no interest in myself and no desire to work hard on something that is not absolutely necessity. I have no drive when it comes to me. All my efforts go to taking care of my aged mother and managing her household while dealing with my own health issues.
But about a year ago, I saw myself on a shuttle bus in Las Vegas. She was sitting at the front of the bus with her aged mother. She was tried looking, hunched over, overweight, poorly dressed with mannish shoes, gray hair cut extra short for convenience… basically, all her attention went to her mother. She abandoned everything unnecessary. Her femininity, her health, her self-expression. I was her. Exactly the same. And it scared the hell out of me.
My mother will eventually die and I’ll still be this haggard, exhausted shell of a person if I don’t make an effort to change.

Because I was afraid when I saw my image in the mirror after 2 pregnancies……. I was afraid, because of the work I would have to do to get back in shape. I know how hard it is to get back in shape and all the work……. I have to do….. No it’s better, but since I realize that the only thing would stopping me is how people look at me, and since I admit that and after a long work I can think…… I don’t care about what they think, I’m right, and I want to be in the best shape of my life with defined abs, defined quads a good pairs of arms and shoulder ripper…… because even if I’m a woman, I’m a very athletic woman, (I do sport since I have 5 years old -and I’m 44 years old now) and now I’m ready to assume that !! Yes I’m an athletic woman, I like the fact to have muscle around my bones and not to be a skinny fat woman. I’m healthy, and I know that I can be a role model for people around me.
So ready for the big change of my life !!!

I used to be thin years ago, and after having long working hours, and back and neck injuries, aging, and other surgeries that I felt contributed to my gaining so much weight. I would look at my photos and think, “what happened to me? I used to be thin and now I am overweight!” I couldn’t see how I could get back to being thin again. I was not able to work out like I did when I was younger and after my last injury. I believed exercise after injures were a think of the past. Also I love to cook and enjoy my cooking and love to experiment with different dishes. We love to entertain, so cooking and baking is always involved. When I hurt with a flare up, I eat carbohydrates to go with pain medication (not often, but on occasion). I love bread! Augh! When I hurt, it is difficult for me to motivate myself to work out. Other reasons for not exercising in the past was my crazy schedule which I don’t have anymore. I used to work 12 hour shifts and sometimes no lunch breaks! Then eating at 9 pm at night when I got home from work. My injury ended working those shifts and even working for a long while. Thus less activity and more time to snack. Yikes! I believed that the several different surgeries in the past and that less activity and age caused my metabolism to slow down to nil.
I think the main reason for not feeling I can be successful is fear of further injury and fear of pain. But I have found that I can modify exercises and even eliminate some that can cause a flare up. There are a lot of things I can do! I can exercise and I can modify my eating if I set goals. I can work with weights even if they are not as heavy as what other people use. I have been working out with small hand weights and it doesn’t hurt me, so I don’t need to be afraid of injury. I just need to have proper body mechanics. I will not compare myself with other people (this is where I get my self in trouble)and work with what weights I am able! If other people have had neck and back injuries too and were able to be successful, then I can too!
I plan to set my goals to lose fat and build muscle! I will schedule in my exercises and weight training! I am ready. I have had enough of limiting myself. Time to go forward!

My limiting belief is that I feel at 50 years old, my time to get in the best shape of my life has past. I’ve done other challenges and I like to workout, but I can’t seem to get a grip on the nutrition part of the process. I really need to lose about 10-15 pounds, and replace it with muscle, but I just can’t break that barrier. This belief of thinking that I’m too old and not smart enough to figure out how to balance my nutrition, has held me back. I’ve let it hold me back, far too long. I need to adjust my diet constantly, like an airplane staying on course. I need to stop believing in a false idea, and do something, anything, as long as it’s positive. I will overcome this belief, not try, I will. I’ll try is no longer in my vocabulary, I will has replaced it. Thank you Tom, for this opportunity and the knowledge that is tried and true that you have wrote for myself and others. I will!!!

I could give you a whole bunch of reasons of why I can’t get into my best shape ever. I can even tell you I have no self confidence,that I do not believe in myself,and that I’m not worthy of any greatness all which in my mind are true. There is only ONE reason… me! I hold myself back. Only ME!

I came to live in Puebla, Mexico 15 years ago. I’ve just got my bachelor degree in Russia. That was me: recently graduated in physics, ex – captain of the faculty volleyball team and good looking girl, heading to the country where summer is all year around. And everything was perfect… except one little thing, I happened to be one of the few persons severely affected by the high, 2000 meters above the sea level impacted me tremendously. First weak after I arrived, I had troubles just to walk on the streets, getting dizzy (more when driving). I get adapted a little, but even though, for the first and second years, when I tried to do exercise (volleyball, steps, aerobics, even tae-kwon-do) I couldn’t do it, ending up throwing up at the end of the sessions. And then I stop trying. For the past 15 year I gained 40 kgs, slight depression and lost all my self-esteem.
From time to time I was searching for the way to overcome my situations, but now when I watch back, I realize, that I didn’t have enough determination… and I needed someone to encourage me, to tell me “don’t give up”, “you can do it”, “I believe in you”… it is so hard to do it on your own. Due to the language barrier I haven’t find any friends here and lost contact with my old buddies in Russia.
I found Tom Venuto’s site – and sign up for his free newsletter… The information I started to get was sometimes revealing and sometimes shocking. I realize that I don’t need to do intensive cardio (which is making me seek) to lose fat. Surprisingly, it’s enough with moderate cardio and a weight training, plus correct nutrition… I don’t have to be like that anymore, I really do can change… And I will… Of course some friendly push and “go team” can be helpful, so I decided to get in touch with my friend from the high school and she agreed to help me with my motivation. To my surprise, she just started a summer challenge for three month, in some Russian program on the internet, they started May 15, (I contacted her May 16, though it was late for me to enter there). But I still have a chance to enter here ( if I’ll be lucky in this blog contest and if Mexican residents can participate in The Summer 2011 Burn The Fat Challenge Body Transformation Contest). I want to thank Tom Venuto (thank you very-very much for your wonderful posts, which are eye opening and motivating).

What was stopping me from having the body I always wanted?
For me, it was sheer stubbornness, ego and a lack of education on my part.
The ego part. At 64, I thought I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. Loosing 8 to 10 pounds was never a real big challenge …UNTIL NOW. When I saw the Christmas videos of me on the floor, playing with my grand kids, I realized I was truly fat and that BIG crack hanging out of my pants only confirmed it. I finally admitted to myself… I was OBESE and had to become serious about losing 40-45 pounds.
For the stubborn part. I thought I knew how to loose this fat. Exercise and eat less combined with a diet program that worked for me in the past. Four years ago, I needed to loose about 20 pounds for a vacation. The low carb “A” diet was my choice. I bought the book and became a solid convert. The diet worked, I lost 15 of the 20 pounds for the trip. I could eat all the fat foods I liked and did not have to exercise very much at all! It was sooo easy!
After the trip, I slowly began gaining the weight back. I stubbornly stuck to the diet plan, keeping carbs below 25 grams/day as much as possible. I was a NO CARB junky. This year, it stopped working all together!
This led me to Plan B… aerobic exercises 3 X’s per week on my trusty treadclimber. For added insurance, I ate very few carbs and reduced my calories below a 1,000 per day. Only lost about 8 pounds after a month. My solution— increase workouts to 4-6 days per week, and increase time from 45 minutes per session to 1.5 to 2 HOURS per workout. Man, did I ach!!! After 3 months, my stubborn perseverance still did NOT pay off.
Now for education. I knew I was up against a wall and what I believed would work had stopped! I spent hours on the internet trying to figure out what was wrong. I picked up tidbits of information everywhere but none told the whole story.
Then I stumbled on Tom Venuto’s web site. Since then I read BFFM twice! It is absolutely incredible. Best of all, it told me HOW TO DO IT!!!
I will NOT go back to my old, bad habits and incorrect beliefs because I now have the BFFM book! I intend to maintain a healthy body maintenance course from here on out.
With the BFFM education, I realized why the weight loss methods I thought were correct led to failure. I now realize my body type and my age will require a level of exercise maintenance for the rest of my life. BFFM gives me methods to monitor and calculate exactly what is required. I am willing to put the work into this and am resolved to maintain a healthy body from now on.
I’LL LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW THIS WORKS OUT WHILE I AM ON THE BEACH IN MAUI THIS YEAR.

I’m just a few days away from age 80. I bouught your hard cover BURN FAT BUILD MUSCLE, which I keep on my nightstand along with printouts of many of your special articles from the website. I now eat the healthy foods you list, (keeping a careful log using the excellent http://www.livestrong.com program) exercise regularly at a fitness center, including many exercise in your book. My weight has gone from 225+ to 169 and my body fat percentage is 14.5%. (That’s in the excellent range for a 30 -39 year old.) No one out there even comes close to the great advice on nuitrition and exercise you give. Thanks – many thanks Tom!

What has kept me from the body I want has been the overpowering desire for food. What is different now is I have a more powerful desire for the success in my volunteer work as a Back Country Ranger and the long gruling hikes can only be accomplished by loosing weight or more percisely “loosing fat”.
Bob

Raising adopted teenagers and dealing with never-ending cross cultural issues. It is so exhausting. I have a hard time focusing on what’s best for me. Please help me!

My limited belief is that my habit of over eating keep me fat, and inactivity, and not believing in myself, another limited belief is that I was looking for the fix way out.
I believe that I will change my habit, and believe and see myself admiring by people on the beach and every where I go, faces will be looking. I see me surrounded and interview by people with my 6packs of pure muscle.

In the past, I have stuck to mu nutrition and workout plan for awhile, for several months at a time even. There always comes a time when i seem to lose my way, I feel tired, worn out and just want to give up and eat everything in sight. All that changed when I read BFFM. It gave me “permission” to actually eat enough calories in a day to sustain my body instead of forcing my body to live on WAY too few calories – even as low as 500 a day for several weeks at a time. I am excited to build muscle and lose fat all at the same time!!! THIS TIME I WILL SUCCEED!!

My limiting belief is that I can never stick to anything. I start a program and do good for about three weeks, this it’s back to the same old routine of not exercising and eating anything I want. Everytime I say I am going to start again, something else happens that makes me not stay on track. I tell myself I don’t have the time, I don’t have the money to buy all the healthy food, I have other priorities. But I know I need to put my health first, especially since I have high cholesterol. I believe myself to be lazy and think I can get away with not eating right or exercising, because I “appear” to be skinny. My biggest problem is committment. I want to be able to stick to a program and succeed. But this start and stop cycle is never ending…

what’s really been stopping me is actually two things.
1st, PROCRASTINATION! “i’ll start tomorrow”, is what my “inside voice says”. i mean, just look at when i’m finally answering these questions.
the final hour!
second, and this is even more important, accountability. when i first got BFFM, i skipped right over this section, right about the time tom says, that it is one of, if not THE reason people fail.
so no more procrastination! and i am holding my self accountable!

what have been stopping me in the past are my past failures and pressure from others who knew I tried but failed. But now, i will not let them stand my way for I want to have my life back… and I know I have the right tool this time…BFFM works.

It didn’t seem to matter what size I was, whether I was a curvy size 18 or a humongous size 42, I was still not accepted. My life has been one of loneliness, no one knows the pain I go through every day. Do you even know how it feels to be told that “you’re un-employable?” I have dreams just like everyone else, I have accomplished most of them but losing this weight is the hardest thing for me to do!
I’m afraid that if I lose the weight there will be no more excuses for me to use, I’ve become accustomed to my excuses, its safe hiding but it’s painful and lonely. Facing the possibility of accomplishing my one true dream is terrifying! I’ll have to face my greatest fear, the fear of rejection. It’s painful being ignored and rejected especially when it involves your true passion, your calling in life. For me, it was singing Opera. I lost the courage to sing when I was ignored by a teacher I respected and told to shut up by someone I loved. They made me feel as though I couldn’t sing and that I wasn’t even worth listening to. It still affects me even after all these years.
I know we’re suppose to come up with our own solutions but sometimes the answer is staring us right in the face but it takes someone else to tell us, so I’m reaching out to everyone for a solution. How do I conquer this fear of rejection? How can I move forward with my dreams?

In 2007 I was just 20 lbs over weight. In May of that year I developed Hashimoto’s Disease and gained another 25 lbs. My doctor told me to just suck it up because that is what my life would be.
I thought “oh hell no.” I’ve lost back to the 20 lbs overweight through cardio boxing and lifting weights and I know the way to a better life is training. Hard. All I need is someone to show me the way to transform that last 20 lbs.
I’ve been reading BTF e-mails for a year now. The challenge is what will see me through.
Yes, Tom, I’m in.
Mimi

-Old habits
-I didn’t believe or imagine I would ever succeed
-I said I would change but didn’t alter my behavior one bit

I am overcoming it and within a couple week or so I have worked out my arms and chest better than before. Thanks to Tom.

What’s been holding me back: “I’m not fat. I’m OK the way I am. I don’t feel so bad. I could be worse. My husband doesn’t exercise why strive higher if he doesn’t? He’s happy with how I am right now. I am great at starting new things but I just can’t seem to keep inspired and motivated. Why start this if I know I won’t follow through.”
Just being in the comfort zone has been holding me back from having the body I’ve always wanted. It will never stop me again because I’ve just raised the bar. I will not use my husband as an excuse to stay where I am. I’ve set my sights higher I aim to reach higher and I’ll never settle for mediocrity again! I want my family’s admiration and be an inspiration. The feeling of achievement and pride would be awesome!

Hey Tom,
Great idea,it’s harder to ignore ideas and beliefs when you put them in writing. I have always believed that the people who prepared my food were in control of my caleoric intake, The wife and mother would do the shopping and most of the cooking, I occasionally grill. And then there’s the night’s eating out 2 -3 per month, lots of crazy fat filled meals at Outback or Caraba’s . Oh well finally everyone (new girlfriend – wife gone) and mother are interested in losing weight and eating healthier so nows my chance to get them all on the bandwagon and learn how to fuel the body to burn the fat. I’ve been a believer in the info you put out in the blogs and articles but haven’t been able to afford a membership and copy of your book this contest may help me rectify those problems. I know I can make the changes necessary even if the others can’t or won’t. At 52 I would like to get into better shape in order to enjoy my silver years instead of being like most Americans and struggling through it due to poor physical conditions and bad dietary habits. Thanks Tom for always doing your job well and looking out for us.
Sincerely, Dan

Lets do this thing!!!!!
Im IN ;-0

What’s stopped me — I love to eat, live to eat and don’t want to give it up. I try to eat healthy most of the time, but I have to be able to go out enjoy my food. I have no self-control when it comes to something I love!
BUT, I’m not going to let this stop me anymore. I’m going to learn how to eat in moderation and still enjoy the foods I love. I’m also going to get back into my yoga class that really helped me lose and maintain my weight before. I do work out at the gym at least 4 days a week, but I have to incorporate yoga or my back kills me so this is something I’m going to do! Just need to get back into a routine, but one that does not become boring.

People fear the possibility of how amazing they might be…and with it comes the fear of if we reach our goals, achieve success, and still discover the limiting belief we’ve created of our ownself worth still stands–because as humans we’ve allowed it to–then we must failbecause we fear what our success would mean to the beliefs we’ve held dear for so long.
It’s time to let them go. I’m ready to succeed, because I will no longer allow people, events, objects, or ideas to validate my existence and myself worth. I love myself as I am, and will love myself through every step of the journey,
I AM enough…I WILL succeed and let go of limiting beliefs. And the objects and things I need to get there along this journey become available as I need them.
Jenna

Hi Tom,
Wow, what a thing to sit back and consider….
I’ve always wanted to be athletic – like my brother, but then again, we’re only half brothers. (maybe…., i convinced myself, he just had the better genes…)
From the earliest age I can remember my parents joining a weight-loss community, trying the diets and pills, and sensing their discontent and dissatisfaction with the results, and with life in general. I learned to believe that weight control must be really hard. Or else, why did my folks fail at it after so many attempts?
One of my most humilating moments as a child was when (in first grade) my friend told me I couldnt ride on her horse because i was too fat! it was a horse for goodness sake! not a greyhound!
It was by the summer break of third grade (age 8) that I decided to go on a diet…. and years of suffering followed.
When I graduated HighSchool and got a job not much had changed, with my first paycheck i bought some diet pill that was being advertised on television, and since then a lot of other things.
My most limiting belief is one that has taken root and infiltrated ever part of my life, whether carried over from my parents, it is still my belief. Ive always told myself that I CANT DO IT. IT IS TOO DIFFICULT.
I’ve lived in fear, and a heap of distructive behavior that manifests in a host of self-sabotage. From binge eating, fueled by crazy emotions, self hatred and loathing, and the killer that is procrastination.
My perfectionist nature has led to me feel that if i wasnt assured success – to not even attempt it, or to procrastinate and skirt the issue without dealing with it.
My person has suffered, as i’ve blamed my parents, genes, surroundings, brother, as Ive waited on the perfect time, the right moment, January 1st, Monday Morning, after this cold…
But now. It wont stop me anymore. Damn it man, I’m almost 30. No one controls my life anymore, its just me. I plan my time, push the grocery cart, pay the bills. I am in charge and I say it stops here.
Crap, even if this had to be submitted by may 17th, at least I’ve had the chance to really think about the issue, that something so dibilitating was really a subconscious belief… I chose to believe it, and now I can choose to believe otherwise!
Thanks Tom
(sorry its late)
Next Time!
Andre
South Africa