QUESTION: Tom, I love your Burn The Fat, Feed the Muscle (BFFM) program,but I have a serious question about alcohol. I know you’ve been asked this before because I read your last article on drinking and the beer belly, but I think this is different… I come from Scotland and not only is drinking considered socially acceptable there, it is a way of life for most people. It has been the single most difficult part about sticking to your fat loss program for me…
We grew up drinking. Although the legal drinking age is 18, it isnormal to start drinking between the ages of 12 – 16. I didn’t seemy friends for the first 6 weeks of being on BFFM. When I connected with them again, I realized how much of a problem it really was.
I’ve actually asked this question before on other health forums. Usually it is an American who answers with something like, “You need to get new friends.” Well, what they don’t understand is that I do have good friends. They’re not out to hurt me. Drinking is their only hobby. It’s the reason they look forward to the weekend. It’s too cold to do anything outside and eating out is not very common.
To be honest, I haven’t met anyone in their twenties in Scotland that doesn’t drink! And if you try going on a night out in the town without getting drunk, it’s impossible to enjoy yourself because everyone else is drunk and irritating.
Now that I’ve explained a bit about the culture, let me tell youwhat it does to me. At the start of drinking, it’s quite controlled.Usually you’ll start with 6 – 8 pints of beer. Then your judgment gets impaired and belly gets full so you move onto vodka’s with red bull. By then, you’re pretty drunk, so anything goes. That’s when the shots start.
Because alcohol increases your cravings, you’re almost sure togo looking for food at the end of the night. And since you’re so ravenous and your judgment is impaired, you will buy everything in the shop and most likely finish all of it as well.
It doesn’t end there though. The next day, your taste buds arecompletely messed up and you crave everything you see because yourbody is so depleted of nutrients. I don’t know the science behind this but it’s always the most sugary and fatty foods that you crave. I once counted how many calories I ate on a “hangover” day and it came to 9000 (my calorie maintenance is about 2800).
I guess the whole point of this is that it’s probably not justdrinking itself that causes all the weight gain but more likely everything else that comes with it. Impaired judgment, hormonal imbalance, overeating (of empty calories) both on the night of and day after.
It’s obviously a big problem, not just in Scotland but thewhole of Northern Europe. But how do you go about changing an entire culture?
-Chris
ANSWER: Thank you for your email. Although I am from the states, I can understand where you are coming from, as I’ll explain in a moment. But first let me answer your question:
You don’t change a culture. You just change yourself and commit yourself to your goal, wherever you are.
Although it’s sometimes necessary to leave certain negative relationships behind, you can usually recruit the support of your existing friends as well as seek out new and supportive associations at the same time.
Starting a new health and fat burning lifestyle is also not an all or nothing proposition. Although there is clearly no place for binge drinking or binge eating, how about starting with moderation rather than total abstinence?
You are who you associate with
When I was a teenager – a junior and senior in high school, I went through a stint of drinking. It continued on and off through my junior year of college and at one point I found myself living in a “notorious”party house on campus, with all that goes with it.
The interesting thing was, I had started bodybuilding at age 14 and never stopped, even through all the college partying.
Obviously however, drinking held back my progress and who knows what kind of long term effect it would have had on my body and health over ten or twenty years had I continued down that path. You’re kidding yourself if you think you can have it both ways. Sometimes, like cigarette smoking, it just takes a while before the damage starts to show.
I hadone foot in bodybuilding culture, with a group of bodybuildingfriends at the gym. And I had a whole different group of friends at school who didn’t set foot in the gym, they spent most of their time at parties and at the bars.
During my senior year in college, it was the positive influence and encouragement from my bodybuilding friends to compete for the first time that changed the direction of my life and cemented my dedication to bodybuilding and fitness as a lifestyle. I began to see myself as a bodybuilder, and I never looked back once I devoted myself to the bodybuilding lifestyle.
You are how you identify yourself
Once you accept a new lifestyle to the point that it becomes your identity, you can’t go back. You can’t say to yourself “I am a bodybuilder” or “I am an athlete” and mean it, right down to the deepest subconscious level, and then go out drinking every weekend – it is simply not congruent, so your nervous system will short circuit any behaviors that might sabotage your goals.
And the same works in reverse. If your identity is, “I am a drinker,” you cannot fight the automatic behaviors that are generated as a result, because it’s subconcsious mind you are working against and that’s a fight you always lose in the long term. Conscious willpower lasts only so long against subconscious mind power.
One solution is to change your entire identity to something different.Your associations help shape your identity, as your peer group becomessomething you identify yourself with. Join a group and you “become”one of them.
Psychologists also call your peer group your “reference group” because you refer to the people around you to see what is “appropriate” behavior. If everyone is doing it, it may seem “acceptable” and “appropriate” but that doesn’t mean it won’t sabotage your fitness goals or even lead to alcoholism.
It was bodybuilding and the associations I made through bodybuilding that “saved me.” I had one foot on one side, and one foot on the other. I could have gone either way. I could be a heavy drinker and I might not even be a fitness professional today except for some decisions I made many years ago about the type of person I would become and the type of people I would associate with.
When culture or environment are involved, these types of decisions might appear “impossible,” but don’t confuse “impossible” with “difficult.” There are lots of outstanding athletes, bodybuilders and people totally devoted to health and fitness in Scotland, as the reare in every country in the world. These people simply made the necessary sacrifices and decisions in order to get what they wanted.
You are your decisions
Looking back at decisions you made a decade or two later is an incredible experience in perspective. At one point in the life-cycle, some people can’t fathom sitting home on friday or saturday night, or doing something outside the home that has nothing to do with alcohol.
Then a point comes in life when you look back at when you spent time in the bars, and you can’t fathom how or why you did that. A lot can change in a decade. Things change. People change. Values change.
Where will you be in 10 years? Where do you want to be? People have gone from broke to billionaire in 10 years and yet most people won’t look past the next 10 days or even 10 hours when weighing the consequences of their actions.
It might seem like making these decisions will be isolating yourself or in some way be “wrong” as you might think you have to leave people that you care about behind. That might seem the case except for two things:
(1) If you express your intentions and ask for support, your true friends will stand by you if you choose to drink only in moderation or even if you choose not to drink at all. If they don’t stand by you, then those are friends you don’t need.
(2) You can also find new friends and create new associations that will support you in your new lifestyle and health changes. In fact, they may be looking for you too. But don’t wait. Don’t assume they’ll find you. Go where they are. You go first. Reach out and make first contact.
You are your environment
You have to put yourself in – or create – a positive environment that supports your goals. That includes your physical environment and your social environment.
You can begin to re-create your social environment by getting involved in new activities and creating new, supportive associations even as you still live in and are surrounded by all the old ones.
As you make your intentions known to your old friends, you may see something interesting happen – the negative associations who weren’t going to support you will often drop away by their own accord. You will no longer interest them. You will no longer “resonate” with them.
Your true friends will stick by your side, through thick and thin as you change your lifestyle and make new decisions. You may even become a positive influence on them.
Surround yourself with the right kind of friends and you can accomplish amazing things
A first step to find new associations could be as simple as joining a public gym. It helps tremendously if you find a training partner or someone to be accountable to. If you prefer, you could get involved in sports or some type of physical activity group.
Online communities like our Burn The Fat Inner Circle are also great places to start if you have no where else to turn for social support. You can log in from anywhere in the world, read posts, ask for help or request assistance, make new friends, find an accountability partner, get encouragement from people on the same path and come away feeling empowered and stronger.
Ultimately, however, you have to cultivate and nurture those positive personal relationships because life isn’t computers connected to computers, life is people connected to people.
The decisions you make about your associations will not just make or break your physique, in the long run, they will make or break your health and your entire life.
Train hard and expect success,
Tom Venuto
PS. Here’s one more idea for you: If you still want to go out to enjoy time with your friends at bars, make yourself designated driver. They will probably thank you!
Related Articles:
Why some people drink alcohol but don’t get fat (previous blog post)
Beer Bellies and the alcohol weight loss paradox (inner circle members only)
I look forward with anticipation to your new book Tom, and wish you good luck in your preparations.I read about the Scotsman and would really be interested in hearing how he fares, as I’m sure most of your followers would.Kind regardsTerri
Thanks Tom,How appropriate. Except that it isn’t when I’m out with friends, it is when I am at home with the kids (husband works late most nights) and … Then, I have some wine. Except it usually isn’t one glass or two. Thankfully, this doesn’t happen more than once or twice a month anymore (thanks to BFFM and FLR).Peace,Bridgett
That was a great answer to Chris’s query,Tom. I found it to be a very balanced and well thought out response. The social scene can be very problimatical for people trying to lose weight and keep it off. I too would be very interested to see how Chris gets on with this obstacle.Good Luck with your new book…will be very interested when it comes out.
Tom,A great article, and very needed.I am one of the lucky ones, like yourself,who made self preservation and development decisionsyoung, and stuck to them.Today, I am 60, but most everyone assumes I amaround 40. No exaggeration.My “path”—as a surfer—has been fitness, TM / Yoga,and organic vegetarianism (some Sushi)…No alcohol or drugs…And believe me, I have had to ignore my friendslifestyles to stay with what I wanted to do.Mik
Just wanted to chime in and add that aside from everything Tom has so eloquently pointed out here, you are also potentially someone else’s inspiration. Your decisions and dedication can have untold impact on your current friends/associates. You can be the mentor for fitness and lifestyle changes that will make that look back on any given decade in life a source of pride rather than regret.
Hi Tom,Thank you for an excellent answer to the email fromthe young man from Scotland.Those of us that have passed our ’20s more than acouple of times, know all too well what peer pressureand identity are all about.The young generation needs the kind of message youdelivered so well.I am making progress in my new lifestyle, slowprogress, but still burning fat. Down another 1% in 6weeks, but I’m in no rush. I’m 4% away from my goal of20%, which at 57 is not too bad.Lots of luck with your new book.Regards,Cecilia
Hi Tom,I must say that was very well put. I have read your newsletters for a while now and really appreciate the honesty about sometimes challenging topics.I am a retired athlete that won a medal at the 2006 Olympics and over the many years of travel and competition it is important for people to know that committing to your goals and being dedicated is the only way to accomplish greatness.People really have no idea what they are capable of until the set forth towards a powerful goal and persist until they see it through. I had many friends that had dreams of winning an Olympic medal that were swayed by the lure of partying and alcohol. The sad thing is now they look back and wonder, “what if …”.So keep up the great work and sharing your message!All the best,Jason
Tom that is so well put.It has to be something you are passionate about doing though. Your heart has to be in it or else you won’t succeed. This is my 12th week without alcohol! not a drop! The first 2 weeks were hard, especially getting comments about why I’m not drinking. But just like you address in your book, WHO CARES. They don’t need a reason. I have not missed alcohol. My goal was 12 weeks but I’ve just felt so great without it I’m not sure I’m going to drink now that I’ve reached my goal.Thanks for your book! It’s life changing! I’m only on my first week but I already notice a huge difference.Joyhttp://fitandhealthygal.blogspot.com/
I too have friends who I socialise with at bars after work. I find that rather than binge drinking or losing those friends, I can enjoy going out, having one drink, and then either heading home or drinking soda with lime instead. I make that one alcoholic drink my treat for the day and enjoy it all the more!
WowYou’ve actually put my mind at ease there, I’ve felt like I’ve been drifting away from a few friends for a while now, and now totally understand why, they love alcohol I hate it, not just because of the health implications but also how stupid people behave on it, I’ve been feeling guilty towards them for always saying no to party’s and social nights, especially because my boyfriend then goes by his self to dis associate myself from them is quite hard givin my boyfriends friendship with them, I’ve always felt I need to make new freinds instead, so now I won’t feel so guilty about itGem
Chris,I come from the USA and not only is drinking considered socially acceptable here, it is a way of life for a lot of people. We grew up drinking. Although the legal drinking age is 21, it is common to start drinking between the ages of 12-16…Some tips for drinking:Ancient warriors drank voluminous amounts and then carried the battle far and wide to their enemies. You might look at your drinking and exercise in the same light. It wouldn’t be the healthiest way to go through life, but it would still beat a life with no exercise at all.Some of those next day cravings are based on the depletion of water, sugars and B vitamins. Certain sports drinks contain exactly what you need to replenish these, stop hangovers in their tracks and start the recovery process in short order. It’s a bit ironic–you need the same thing after a drinking binge that you need after a good workout.Drink only when it’s socially “necessary.” Keep your drinking to the weekends only and stick to training and diet as strictly as possible during the week. This accomplishes two things. First, you spend less of your time drinking and more of it recovering. Second, over time, your tolerance for alcohol will drop, especially if you make a concerted effort to gauge how much you drink, whether or not you’ve had enough at any given time and to drink as little as possible when you do drink.The old saying, “Take it one day at a time,” is something to remember and to believe in.Some tips for quitting drinking:Tom said:”(1) If you express your intentions and ask for support, your true friends will stand by you if you choose to drink only in moderation or even if you choose not to drink at all.(2) You can also find new friends and create new associations that will support you in your new lifestyle and health changes. In fact, they may be looking for you too. But don’t wait. Don’t assume they’ll find you. Go where they are. You go first. Reach out and make first contact.”(1) Indeed, you may lose some “friends.” I did. I am glad that I did. I didn’t judge them for continuing to drink, but they did judge me for quitting. No one needs “friends” like these. I wish that I had known this sooner.(2) Let’s say that you meet no one who shares your lifestyle and goals. Would that really be so bad? Solitude sometimes begets even greater focus and determination. Work with whatever cards you are dealt and learn to love it. I work alone, I train alone, I eat alone and others follow my example–I am never truly alone.Joy said:”The first 2 weeks were hard, especially getting comments about why I’m not drinking.”Answer:”I don’t drink because alcohol is pure poison.”Give them back the “hard time” that they give you and watch the comments and questions disappear with a grin on your face.You have already taken the first step by contacting Tom about this. He’s a great guy and he knows what he’s talking about here, as he does about anything else.I drank from age 15 to age 35. I was a “power drinker,” which means that I drank specifically to get drunk. I chugged beer, slammed shots and otherwise drank as if alcohol were water. I approached drinking as if it were a contest with myself–the same way I approach exercise. When I quit drinking, I did it “cold turkey,” with no support or assistance from anyone. I still go to bars, I still make drinks for others, I even taste them on occasion with no urge to continue drinking. When I decided to drink for a friend’s wedding after three years of sobriety, it wasn’t even fun anymore and I haven’t had a drink since. The point is, just as alcohol makes changes in your thinking over time, sobriety will do the same. Remember that it never hurts to try something new.Good luck.JohnPS: Anyone who needs a friend or advice on this subject can contact me at urs @ mindspring.com. Just remove the spaces. I am not affiliated with any organization, nor am I a medical professional or a salesperson. I’m just a fellow veteran.
Tom,Great choice of topic for this newsletter and well worth the wait!I come from a family of “drinkers”, so I can relate. Similar to Chris, I grew up with Irish heritage and in a (US) eastern shore area of small towns with Irish bars all over, so it wasn’t hard to fall into that lifestyle. Every one had his/her own “Cheers” bar in their respective towns.Every summer I worked at one bar or another and drank every night after work. For a few years, I worked in a town that imposed a midnight closing time. That excited us because then we could go across the town line to other bars that were still open after our closing time. Then I got married and it was more of the same. My ex-husband was a regular at one bar and all his extra curricular activities involved alcohol. Ironic, since we met in the gym and I also bought fitness equipment for our house. I was on a new path, but it was hard to stay on it. The only way to spend time with my then-husband was to play on that team. The fitness equipment in the house collected dust. Then the marraige went south. I turned to alcohol because I needed help to sleep. I used alcohol as an excuse. I won’t get into the details, but I finally found a way out. I lost some good friends through all that and my new friends during my marriage were my ex’s friends, so I had to find new ones all together.I had always wanted to rollerblade, so I asked for a pair for my birthday and joined a club that skated a few times a week (weather permitting of course). That group also played volleyball each week and went on biking and skiing trips. Some also went scuba diving on the weekends so (until I got my cert) I would go out on the water with them. I won’t say that drinking was not part of our social outings, but it was a minor part. That was almost 13 years ago and many of us have moved on and some have relocated, but still stay in touch (thank God for email and cell phones). I was one who relocated – to an area where I had to start from scratch. Since then my life has revolved around fitness. I try to find friends I meet at the gym or have a strong fitness foundation. I have competed in some events (duathlons, century bike rides, etc) and my first bodybuilding show a few years ago. My family and friends know my dedication to fitness and nutrition because I talk about it – and I’m a picky eater! I recently got my CFT from ISSA and took the instructor course to teach spinning. Soon, I will be working full time in that industry.My lifestyle has grown on so many that I see those around me transforming….some more slowly than others, but change for the better is good no matter how long it takes. I have never pushed my information or lifestylye on anyone, so it’s nice to hear when someone tells me that they have changed their bad habits to good because of what they have seen in me. I also have two brothers who have been through rehab (product of the area we lived in) and they now ask me for advice.I know this was a long comment, but I hope that “Chris” sees that by transforming himself and sticking to his plan, he will hopefully find friends who support his new lifestyle. I’m not assuming that his current friends don’t support him, but it’s clear that he needs to surround himself with fitness-minded people so that he can more easily continue on this wonderful new path. Who knows, maybe his current friends will find that their lifestyle is detrimental to their health too and use Chris as a mentor. I wish him the best of luck in his endeavor!!One more thing – I love one quote that relates to this….”Be the change you want to see in the world.” – GandhiGood luck on the new book. I look forward to it as well.- Sharon
ref–scotland and drinking—I live in america but my family lives in wales so i can really relate to the pub problem—one thing that really helped was to give up drinking for a month and see how i feel–“i felt much better” –another thing that helped was to look up the science behind how toxic alcohol is to the body. When in wales my cousin said”this is what kills us”as he held up a pint. Toms answer was good but the bottom line will always be what jack lalane said”discipline and pride”–and ill add a strong desire to be healthy—the rest i found takes care of itself—i am a professional athlete and in golf drinking is part of the culture yet world class golfer paddy harrington who lives in ireland doesnt drink a drop drink—personally i found it hard to drink in moderation so i gave it up except for special occasions 4or 5 times a year–then i have only one drink because my body is not use to it–after awhile i didnt miss alchohol one iota–good luck—about the weather in wales–i found even in poor weather nature is great—good luck celt–as the say in scotland “nae rain nae wind nae heather nae golf”—the very best always—arnie
Hi Tom,Thank you so much for once again coming back with your valuable newsletters. We all were suspecting what happened to you and your blogs.This time once again you have clearly pointed out the importance of taking charge of oneself for a change one wants to see. Change comes only when one really puts an efforts he/she wish to acoomplish.And as you said only true friends will remain as time pass by.Thanks for coming op with your newsletters.Regards,Arun Jacob.
Well put Tom,I am 19 years of age so obviously at my peak at drinking time. At this point in life i also have a foot in the party door and one foot in the gym as you mentioned. I find that if sometime i dont want to drink every one understands why i am not drinking that night.I thought i would share the little trick i use some may find it helpful others may find it useless and rubbish.I train 5 days per week monday to friday and normally go out on the saturday and sunday sometimes friday aswell. What i do is make sure i train hard all week with no pussying out eat properly all week etc to earn my beer tokens (money) for the weekend if i miss a day of training i will not go out as punishment for not training.By doing this it is a aim in itself as th weeks go by you put on your dancing shoes and new t shirt for the weekend it isnt long before the comments come ” eeee you’ve put weight on” “check the size of your shoulders” “Your ams are getting much bigger” And to meee…. it feels amazing when people say that because you know what your doing your getting descent gains from it and people are noticing.
Tom,Great article. I, too, struggle with how to fit my social life and the habits associated with it into my training regimen. One suggestion that has worked for me is moderation as you point out and also switching to red wine.Beer seems to be the worst of the worst as alcoholic drinks go (lots of empty calories and takes lots of drinks for the desired effect). Some time ago, I decided to try and give up beer and French fries for a whole year, I made the change years ago and I have neverlooked back.Bottome line, red wine in moderation is a much better choice than guzzling beer.Walter
I read the long post about the ‘drinking culture in Scotland’ and then I read Tom’s response. My view is: to say ‘I have to drink because it’s the culture, it’s what all my friends do, it’s the culture throughout northern Europe’ is the biggest cop-out in the world. It’s NOT the culture in northern Europe but it IS a big problem throughout the British Isles. It didn’t use to be – it has become a problem since the times allowed for drinking have been relaxed so that effectively now you can drink 24/7, the cheaper prices – drinks can be bought at any supermarket and many of those open 24 hours Monday – Saturday too. ‘Binge drinking’ has spawned a whole lot more offences, injuries, fights, admissions to hospital, car accidents, the revolting spectacle of young women in city centres who are drunk and incapable and at risk of sexual abuse, and finally, younger and younger people are being treated for incurable liver damage along with alcoholism.To say ‘this is our culture and I have to do it’ I repeat, is the biggest cop-out. What are you – a man or a mouse? Do you enjoy this lifestyle which will make sure you die sooner than your parents or grandparents? Alcohol is an addictive drug. It will also ensure that you have no money – you quickly become too drunk to know what you spend every evening, you just put it on a credit card and then you’ll be complaining that you’re in severe debt and you can’t get on the property ladder!Tom is absolutely right and I can’t improve on what he says. Take control of yourself now while you have a chance, otherwise alcohol will control you for the rest of your life.
Thanks for this article, man. I am 54 years old, andI have never drank or smoked, but I have been addicted to over-eating and eating sweets my whole life. This past year Ihave lost 38 pounds, but not on fad diets, this time. I have been working out on a Bow Flex of my friend who has influenced me to begin body buildingand he is only 30, but has lifted weights for years. We both take Whey Protein and work out regularly, doing aerobic exercise as well, and we are both ministers who believe we need to be good stewards of our bodies as well as our souls, minds, and emotions. We are not going to be over-weight, obese preachers who are a poor testimony for Christ.I am committed and for the first time in my life, I have definition both in biceps, pecs, and abs (I do 250 – 300 crunches a day), and I have lost 3 inches off my waist, gained 3 inches in my chest, etc. I feel better than I felt at 40 years of age and have twice as much energy. Your e.mails are so encouraging to me. But this one on alcohol is life-changing, because the comparisons and contrasts in other areas and the way you see yourself and one’s identity being wrapped up in your behavior is powerful stuff. For me, my identity is in Christ and who I am in Him, and who He is in me. Everything flows from that centerpoint, and now with this motivation, I am not looking back. By God’s grace I will not die overweight of a heart attack as my dad who died at age 62 or my older brother at 57. When I exercise it is like I have eaten a meal, and then I have stopped having second helpings and huge portioins and I can say no to desserts. I don’t believe I am sinning when I am addicted to good health and nutrition, as well as exercise. I feel confident that this lifestyle change is a part of me until I draw my last breath. I am not going back. Not ever.Thanks Tom. The rest of my life is going to be different because of people like you. I live with hope now, not hopelessness and depression.Blessings,Tim
Cheers for asking the question Chris, you took the words right out of my mouth!Having beaten cigarettes and finally sorted out my diet, alcohol is my one remaining roadblock. I’m quite happy to take Tom’s advice and start with moderation rather than abstinence. Once a week sounds sensible to me.There is one aspect that still puzzles me, maybe someone can help me out.So worst case scenario; say I end up drinking 8 pints of Stella on one night of the week. (Not ideal I know, but it happens!) There are approx 250 calories per pint = a total of 2000 calories!Say, my maintenence level is 2800 calories per day, would it be best to only eat only 800 calories that day (probably not very healthy & pretty hard to do!) & stay at maintainance level. Or eat 2800 & drink 2000 giving a massive total of 4800? or maybe somewhere in between?Basically, how can one make the best of a bad situation?
I can understand the culture, because I come from South Africa, where it is legal to drink at the age of 18 aswell.I see no reason to ‘throw’ friends away who are drinking.If I think of some people that I know I wish they do take a glass of wine now and then just to relax!I am not for over endulging in anything.To me, an addiction, is an addiction, wherether it is food or wine or obsessive about anything!Whatever rules you is your master, the Bible say.Thanks for the shining example you are to all of us. It shows that nothing is impossible that you put your mind to!
I think if they are real friends they shouldn’t be “replaced” just because they drink. Good friends, the experiences they had in common, the memories and fun you share, cannot be substituted. You should start with some harm reduction, drinking at least one glass of water for each glass of alcohol, and cut back the alcohol a little. And the next morning eat some quickly absorbing carbs to get your blood sugar up, and drink some water to fix your blood pressure, and you’ll feel better, even if you think you can’t force it down your throat. Fixing your blood sugar can prevent you from eating like a pig all day. I rarely drink but about once in 1-2 years I put this knowledge to good use.:) Then you can go on further if you want. (I know it’s an old topic…)
Chris,I have to “entertain” clients for work. And that often involves taking them to a nice restaurant and buying drinks. Of course, three years of this put on almost 60 lbs of fat!Of course, I don’t want to be a killjoy because that could impact my botton line. I’ve made a few changes that have really helped. First, if I KNOW I’m with a heavy-drinking client, I’ll go to the waiter/waitress and tell them to put NO alcohol in my drink. I just get a soda in a whisky tumbler and sip it like it was a Jack and Coke. Customer isn’t any wiser.When I DO choose to drink, I order a beer and a water. My rule, drink the water before I finish the beer. And then I have to have another water before I can have another beer. After a few beers, most don’t even realize I’m “not keeping up” because I’ve always got a drink in front of me. But I’m drinking 2 waters for every beer, which makes sure I drink slower and less, and prevents a hangover.It can be done. I’m not perfect. On a few occasions my willpower and discipline broke down and I had more than I should have. But, compared to where I was 6 months ago, I’ve cut my drinking by about 90% and no one really seems to know. And, the few that have asked, when I tell them I’ve lost 50 lbs in 6 months and don’t want to give it all back, have been VERY supportive.Hope that helps!Tim